It turns out that Santa is retired. He used to be the Bishop of Turkey but now lives in Spain. He lives there with his 1,374 "black friends" ... I think they are called "slaves." Every November he hops on a boat and heads for the Netherlands with 6-8 (no specific numbers given) of his "black friends" for his birthday ... December 5th. Once he is there he and his "black friends" got on white horses and go around to give children candy ... which he puts in their shoes.
The good kids get candy put in their shoes. What do the bad kids get? Kidnapped! Santa and his posse will beat the bad kids with "the branch from a small tree," put them in a burlap sack, kick them, and take them back to Spain.
I like this story, its got spunk. I like the thought of a little kid who just decided that they dont believe in Santa being told "well, looks like Santa is going to beat you, put you in a sack, and take you to Spain then" instead of "then you wont get presents from him."
Hmm, cultural differences ....
If you can find it online, there's a writer (maybe David Sedaris?) who wrote a hilarious article about this very story. My english teacher in high school gave it to me. It starts with him talking about how he likes traveling in taxis and learning about cultural differences. Highly enjoyable.
ReplyDelete-Brian